Monday, November 12, 2012

The Price for Chasing Perfection

"I wish I had her boobs; they're so perfect and my boobs are so big and ugly." This is part of a conversation I heard between two young women (late teens early 20s) as they thumbed through a magazine. My heart sank at this statement because it felt like such a waste. This young woman, like millions of others, will spend a good portion of her life chasing a perfection that doesn't exist and the price will be missing out on the beauty and brilliance of her body today. That feels like a waste.

There's no one definition of perfect which makes it even more illusive; how will you know when you have the perfect body, hair, boobs, skin, wardrobe, home, job etc? The commonly held idea that the perfect body looks a certain way doesn't account for whether that body is healthy or happy. There's no hairstyle or waist size on earth that defines health or happiness.  
All these women were told at some point that they didn't have 'the perfect look'. They refused to change their appearance and remained perfectly them.
Big boobs often come under fire for being 'too big' and I've never understood what that means. Too big to be happy or beautiful or athletic or intelligent? I loathe seeing bodies being compared "Are small boobs better than big ones" or "Are skinny bodies better than curvy ones?" It's just so meaningless. It doesn't achieve anything to compare these things it only focuses us on the things that we aren't rather than celebrating the things that we are. When we compare ourselves to a mythical version of perfection we feel lessened. Less than perfect, less than right, just less. How is that helpful?

I wanted to shake the girl on the Skytrain who was berating her healthy, unique and beautiful breasts and say "Do you know how lucky you are? Do you know what it means to lose a breast, to live without a limb or to battle daily with physical pain? Be thankful you have the one perfection you could ever wish for; a body in perfect working order." I know this sounds like old lady preaching but it's so true. We waste so much time worrying about the things we aren't and this means we miss out on enjoying being us, being happy and being now.

This subject was particularly important to me this weekend because Remembrance Sunday is a time I remember friends I have lost both in and out of the military and the bottom line is... life's too short to worry about your size or shape. So let's stop waiting for the perfect backside or perfect boobs and get on with living our lives with joy in the perfectly wonderful and diverse bodies we have. xx


  1. There is a beauty guru that I love not because she teaches women how to get the perfect look. She is my favorite because talk often about being happy in your own skin. It's something that constantly try to work on. Just saying that I'm happy. Rather than saying I will happy when... When ever I get the thing that should make me happy I am Never truly happy. Happiness is as simple as saying I am happy.

    Btw the guru's name is Bubz Beauty.

    1. Thank you for pointing me in the direction of Bubz Beauty - a really interesting woman. You're so right that finding happiness in the now is absolutely the key. Waiting for happiness is a never ending wait xx

  2. There are girls and women that think they are not curvy enough and face scrutiny by others. There are women and girls that are thicker that want to be more slender. It works both ways.

    Both are beautiful. There are women that train all the time for sports and athletics on the school level and the national level purposely so they can achieve something they want for themselves.

    We need to tell women and girls they are beautiful Period

    1. Here, here Vicki. Comparison will never make anyone feel beautiful or worthy. We need to accept ourselves and others for the things we are, not judge on the things we're not. xx