Monday, November 9, 2015

Taking Time to Overcome Letter Phobia

I can measure almost anyone for a bra and tell them technically what bra sizes and styles they should wear to get a text book healthy fit. The reality is that the technical aspect of fitting means nothing if someone is not mentally ready for a new bra size, especially if the thought of a cup letter over a D makes them recoil.

I've written before about Letter Phobia (here and here) and how it's a very real block that keeps women from even trying on a bra in a size that distresses/worries/upsets them.

I have some clients who spent years in bras that made them uncomfortable, unhappy and self conscious but then finally took the courageous step of facing their letter phobia. I say courageous because letter phobia is the result of layers of dialogue that tell us boobs are wrong, big boobs only translate to sex, cup sizes over a D are for exhibitionists, big boobs and intelligence don't co-exist etc. It's brave to take a step out of that quagmire of ignorance that gets heaped on women from commercials, movies, ads, TV, blog comment sections (AKA the Devil's diary, whichever you prefer) and trust that you could find empowerment on the other side.

A recently new client told me this week that she was disgusted the first time she saw our website because we were trying to normalize big boobs and that went against everything she had learned at home, through her social groups and through the media. Over a period of three years she had read my blog posts and started to wonder whether she was being kept in a cycle of shame about her body and breasts without really knowing it. In September she purchased her first bra in a cup letter that would have been unthinkable to her just a year earlier. This week she wanted to let me know that the difference in her health, posture and self-worth has transformed in just 2 short months. So much so that she has made a verbal promise to her daughter that she will always give her physical and emotional access to bras that fit her.

When you work so much by yourself it's hard to know sometimes if you're making a difference so this woman's story meant an awful lot to me. I would love to think that fewer women of future generations will have to wade through the emotional mud before they feel empowered and deserving enough of a well-fitting bra. It's not just about getting the best bra fit, it's about freeing up the mental capacity of a remarkable gender to apply their time to something other than ensuring their bodies conform to an arbitrary social preference.

Getting over letter phobia does not happen over night but it can happen and the results can be so much more than just getting the right bra. Be kind to those women you know who are afraid to try a cup letter over a D and be there with helpful resources when they're ready to face their letter phobia.xx

1 comment:

  1. Hi there. This is my first time posting here.

    I'm a guy with severe gynecomastia ( meaning female like breasts on a man ). I have been wearing a bra for almost 30 years now. For longest time, well, almost 20 years. I wore a 38D/DD. But a few years back, I found that my bras wouldn't hold the "girls" without a generous amount of overflow. It was very tough for me, a guy to admit 1). I needed to wear a bra and 2) I couldn't even find.a large enough cup at Macy's that would actually fit me. So I decided to diet and as a result, I lost 30 lbs. (Yay). I thought that I could maybe return to a D cup. Not really. I went to be refitted and ended up going from a 38F to a 36G! the fitter told me, it's just a letter. It's the fit that's important. She actually said that alot of women have the same reaction and will actually look for a bra that runs large in the cups so they can wear a smaller cup size.